I think I'm just ready for the stress of going out to Utah to be over. For the packing to be done with. For the moving to be complete. Though I am very much ready to get out of this house and be out of Kansas, I'm hating the fact that I am leaving my family behind. I know that my parents really would rather not see me go.. and the fact that I'm leaving I know is hurting my sister because I have really been the only thing that she's had these last 7 months. I love my family so, so much -- I really hate that we have to be so far from each other. It makes leaving so conflicting and difficult. And I know as I've mentioned in a blog before, this time moving out of my parents house is SO much different because I know that I will never be coming back to live here.
Moving is also hard because I finally was able to spend some time with my best friend from high school last night. We've always been so close. After high school we didn't talk all that much and we really didn't see each other at all. But one thing I realized last night is when you have a true friend the distance between you doesn't matter; it doesn't matter how long it's been since you've talked or seen each other.. you pick up right where you left off. It's such a great feeling, and honestly I don't have but one or two other friends like that. I'm sad that it took us so long to see each other after I moved back home. It took me leaving again to finally get together. It took a period of 'crisis' on both of our behalves when we both just really needed someone to talk to (knowing it or not) to bring us together and talk through things. I so badly wish we would have done this sooner. The conversation to help my friend out turned around and REALLY helped me out too.
Now that I can actually say that I'm moving tomorrow... it makes it real. The pressure is on to get everything done that needs to be done... and boy am I feeling it. Just needed to take a moment to be a little bit melancholy. It was needed. If things go well, I'll be going to eat dinner with one, maybe two friends soon. That will be a nice pick-me-up and break from the packing.