Monday, July 16, 2012

My List for Some Accountability!

I am officially able to count down the number of days until I leave for Utah. Yup! I finally set an official moving* date
[*Moving, meaning me going out to Utah and finding a job and place to live. After that happens my parents will officially move all of my belongings there]
After some discussion with my mom about when I want to leave, per her request, I'm leaving AFTER this weekend and will be headed out Monday, July 23rd. She wanted work to keep her busy the day that I leave so she won't be so sad and worried. As I've mentioned before, she really doesn't want me to leave!
I am happy and very relieved to say that I have a temporary house all lined up in Ogden thanks to some amazing friends that I met while Spencer was in ICU. I'll be taking the necessities down there and kind of roughing it for how ever long it takes to get on track! I plan to send in some job applications the middle to end of this week and I'm crossing my fingers and praying like mad that I get called for an interview! [If you know of any places hiring in Utah, PLEASE let me know!!!] Once I land a job, which hopefully won't take much longer than a couple of weeks, I will be looking for a place to live. Well probably I will start looking before that, but I'll get serious about it after a job comes through. I'm hoping that tons of places will pop up when I am looking! Need something fairly cheap so I can support myself and pay off my school debt so I can go back to school asap!

I'm pretty excited about all of this! I thought maybe if I announce when I am officially leaving it might seem a bit more real to me. I'm having a hard time getting motivated to pack. My wonderful mother has helped me out a TON so far, but I hope I can do nearly all of it this week since I no longer work.

I am trying not to be naive to the fact that this move and the adjustment period (which could be several weeks to many, many months! Most likely the latter) is going to be rough. Sure it's going to be exciting since I'm actually doing something and continuing on this journey, but there are going to be A LOT of emotions that are going to surface, especially since September is quickly approaching and those memories are going to be re-lived all over again. Trying to prepare myself as much as I can, but a person can only do so much!

Because I know it's going to be rather difficult for me and I really don't want to fall into a depression, I have decided that trying to keep busy for the first few months I'm there will be a good thing for me. The days that I miss Spence most and when I do the most thinking is on days where I don't have much to do. Trying to solve that problem and I'm attempting to give myself a few things to look forward to!

I find that sometimes writing out what I would like to accomplish is a very positive thing for me to do. This time I'm going to make it public so that I have some accountability on the things I want to do. Whether people ask me about them or just a personal thing of wanting to follow up on these events, I think it will be a good push for me to get out of the house and have some fun. Rediscover myself and do the things that I've ALWAYS wanted to do. Some of these things are coming up soon, and others won't happen for awhile -- but I've got to start somewhere! =)

Here is my list, so far. If you know of any happenings, let me know!
1) Walk in the Fafard 5K -- A fundraiser for Camp Kesem will take place on July 28th and they are honoring a facebook friends late husband, Brett Fafard. Brett volunteered hus time at this camp for several years and passed away from cancer. His wife, Laura really reached out to me several times when I was struggling with marrying so young and then again when Spencer was so sick. It's a great cause to walk/run for! This one is actually up in the air since it's the week that I will get to Utah... it just depends. But if anyone wants to join me, I'll be 100% in - PLEASE let me know. It'd be SO much better with a friend!

2) Visit Spencer's Grave -- While down in Provo for the Fafard 5K, (or any other time soon) I want to stop by the Orem cemetery on my way home and visit Spence. It's long overdue! Hopefully it'll be a beautiful day and I can bring a book or something. It's always SO peaceful there. Of course if any of my close friends or in-laws (Merry, Mike, Christine, Kristin?!) who like reminiscing want to come with me, again, you're very much welcome -- I'd appreciate it!

3) Participate in the Dash For Donation 2012 -- A girl whom I know from ASUU received her second kidney transplant 4 months ago and is running in a 5K to promote organ donation on August 11th. I think it would be fun to go to this walk/run and show my support. It's a very short time to train to actually run it, but what the heck. I can always walk ;-)

4) A Capella Stock 2012 -- I am SO excited for this! I went last year all by myself and it is AMAZING and so, so much fun, even though I was by myself. I just bought tickets for this year for the "middle" (blue) section, $20.00. If you can come I'd LOVE you to join me! It's August 25th in Ogden. It's worth it, promise!

5) Train Concert -- I am going to see Train in Concert in September. It'll be my first real concert. I'm pretty excited to be going with my two best friends, Christine and Adam!

6) Going to the Farmers Market with my great friend, Malina! We started this tradition last summer and really enjoyed getting to know each other better and keep each other company. It was a bummer Spencer never got to join us. But I'm excited to keep the tradition alive this year and go every week or so to get some fresh produce.

7) Many game nights with Adam and Christine -- of course! And not only game nights but tons of adventures with Christine =)

8) Going to the gym/pool at least 4 days a week. I hope to get a pass to 24 Hr fitness in Sugarhouse (well it all depends where I live) so that I can use the pool. It's only $20.00 a month!

9) Go to temple square during Christmas time to see the lights for the first time ever. I was always waiting on Spencer to take me, something he always wanted to do, but we were never able to go (dang hospital and illness >.<)

10) Go to Festival Of Trees again which benefits Primary Children's Medical Center... and in all hopes have a tree for Spencer. He ALWAYS gave to PCMC and I would like to honor him with a tree. I'm going to have to look into this but hopefully it can be a reality! I went for the first time last year with Adam and Christine and it was very cool. It was nice to get out of the hospital =) Sad that Spence couldn't come, of course.

11) Have a wonderful birthday. I know it will be my first birthday without Spencer, but I always hear of so many people celebrating their birthdays and having a ton of fun. I've never really had that. My 16th birthday I was literally snowed in. 17th birthday was pretty fun.. but after that I did a whole lot of nothing. My 21st birthday consisted of sitting around my house sad because I just lost Spence. So this year -- I want to do something really memorable and so, so much fun.

That's all I got for now! I hope to add to it frequently and post updates about my adventures! I'm sure much more will come up! Talking and thinking about all that I will get the opportunity to do is so exciting for me and definitely makes me very ready to be out there. But at the same time it's a little hard to think about because I know I'm going to be doing this all without Spencer. If I don't get friends to participate with me, it will be all by myself. So again -- if anyone is interested in joining me on any of these things let me know! I don't have a TON of friends in Utah, so I hope to make lots of new ones along the way to come with me and create new memories! =)


  1. I am super excited for all of our adventures!!! =)