Thursday, March 13, 2014

It's all in a lyric

Have you ever had a moment where a song that you have known and have loved forever suddenly contains so much more depth and meaning that you somehow missed before? That's exactly what happened to me today. This morning as I was driving to work the song My Immortal came on. A couple of lines into the song I could feel the emotion in it. The deep sadness and the pain. It really hit me hard. For the first time my perspective of this song completely changed. I never before really understood the meaning of every single word until now. As the chorus came on, tears welded in my eyes as I related it to my own life.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have, all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

And really there isn't a whole lot more to say because it's all said right here in these lyrics. This song depicts so much emotion. You can hear the pain through her voice and every note. Very powerful, especially to someone who has been through such a deep and emotional loss.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

For the love of Yoga

I have been on a yoga kick for a couple of weeks now, and considering how it makes me feel, I don't think this kick is going to fade away any time soon. Being so sick last year really made my muscles atrophy and I haven't had much strength since then. It's been my goal to increase my flexibility and gain a significant amount of all around, but specifically, core strength. I'd like to get back to at least where I was when I did dance in high school. Ideally I'd really like to exceed that since I'm doing it 5 or 6 days out of the week vs only 1 or 2 days when I was in HS.

I am not at all a fan of cardio, but who is? I think it's related to exercise induced asthma which makes it quite hard for me to exert myself that much. (I need to talk to the doctor about that, but maybe when insurance finally happens for me, HA!) The only type of cardio work out I really enjoy doing is swimming, and around here that is not a possibility. So I decided that I still wanted to do something and figured yoga would be a really good thing for me.

I easily understood why people say that they are addicted to yoga and why they love it so much! From the very first time I did a simple routine I was hooked. It made me feel so open and significantly relaxed. I felt like I could take a fuller breath, my joints weren't as achey, and I felt much more alert. It's amazing how it works!

When I first started I could tell how weak I really was as well as how little flexibility I had. It was almost embarrassing, but I kept telling myself THAT is why I am doing this. I have been doing it for about 2 weeks now and the amount of flexibility that I have gained within that short amount of time is amazing! I have also gained a little bit of strength. I've noticed that I can hold poses longer, and I can do them a lot closer to how they are supposed to be done and not cheating as much as my body limbers up.

The hardest part is to motivate myself to take at least 20 minutes to sit down and do it. Not every day is easy to just do it! But I think what gets me to that point is knowing how amazing I am going to feel after I do it. 20 minutes quickly turns into 30, which sometimes turns into 40. It's easy to lose track of time when I'm caught up in it.

I'm looking forward to increasing the difficulty of it and adding in more. It's great to be able to see, and feel results. Gives me that much more of a push to continue doing it. And I keep thinking that I've already put in 2 weeks, if I stop now I realize how much I will have lost!

So if you've ever thought about doing yoga, I HIGHLY recommend it. These are the videos I have started out with. Start out with "Flexibility and Range of Motion". It's fairly easy. Just do what you're able to do! I have gotten to where I remember the basics to where I'm able to do it without her, because she doesn't hold the poses very long at all. But I really like her, she's calm and shows you how to do it very well. I've mixed and matched a couple of videos to make it work for me. So give it a try - you don't be disappointed!