Dream Wedding? Nahh - read more! Day 7

Your dream wedding - Day Seven

This definitely isn't my favorite one to post about. I've already had a wedding - and it was pretty dreamy.

I do have to say this. When you're dating, and even engaged you dream of you absolute dream wedding. You have details planned out to the extreme. You know exactly what you want and what will make you happy. And after Spencer and I got engaged I dreamed about the fanciest venue, the best food, the coolest back drops, and a reception that looked like one of my HS proms.... But of course that didn't and couldn't happen.

Having been through a wedding in the past... Almost 8 months ago, I can say that even though my wedding did not include every detail I wanted, the location I wanted, the people I dreamed would be there - I can say it was just like a dream wedding. It was perfect.

It was what we could afford, those who meant the most to us where there, the colors we wanted were used, the food we chose was served, the reception was so fun, we had our favorite DJ, and I married the man of my dreams. Sure - if I wanted to be picky, and even greedy - things could have been different and even in some aspects better.

But the most important thing was that I married my very best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life. Those little tiny details I was stressing over leading up to the wedding, and the little things that I thought were going to make a huge difference, they didn't even matter. I barely even remember them.

What do I remember most? - the friends who actually showed up, my family, and most importantly looking into Spencer's eyes and seeing him the happiest he'd ever in his life been as well as being completely caught up in the moment myself and being the happiest girl on the Earth when I promised him to be by his side for the rest of his life. In which I can very proudly say that I was even though times were insanely hard.

Lets face it. I will never be able to afford a true dream wedding of mine. It's simply out of my budget and future husbands budget (and I say future husband by meaning if I ever do get married again, in which I don't have much doubt I will.. I am 21, I want a family, and it is my DREAM to have children. Spencer told me he wanted me to find love again - and I plan on doing just that.... when the time is right many years from now even though it's going to be very very hard and it will never match what Spencer and I had.... just wanted to get that clear) I cannot afford a $10,000 dress I will wear once. I can't afford a 2-5K cake. I cannot afford a destination wedding and fly my entire family, wedding party, and friends there... It just can't happen - and I know this...
So instead of getting caught up in these unrealistic fantasies of what my "dream wedding" would consist of, I am going to say this......

My dream wedding will happen when I find the (2nd) man of my dreams again. When I find a kind of love I have only felt once before, and even then it will be a different kind of love. My dream wedding will be with those who mean the most to us. It will have the elements that we can afford and that make us happy... even if we have to save up =)

There you have it... sorry if you are disappointed - but I really don't want to plan out another wedding ;-) My heart is definitely too raw right now to think about that sort of thing!!!!!!