Monday, June 11, 2012

The Book...

As many of you know, I have been wanting to write a book for quite awhile now. A book about our* journey (*Spencer and I) and what I have learned from my experiences of being married to a man with cystic fibrosis. I want to share with others what I have learned and how I have grown and changed. How I found myself through my relationship with my husband. How I handled those nearly impossible situations to handle. 

I have had many people ask me what it's like to be with someone you know is going to die. How on Earth I stayed so strong through it all. How my faith survived. Why I made the choices I did. Why we got married so young. etc etc etc. I get asked for suggestions, advice, my experience etc from others who are going through similar situations -- with CF or otherwise. I get asked a lot just in general, how I did it and continue to thrive to this day. I want to share my story and insights.

Not only do I want to write about the entire experience with Spencer, but I really want to focus on what it is like when you know that your dear husband is dying. I want to write about how I handled and learned from the last year of our time together; when I knew that his time was coming to an end -- whether it ended in transplant or not.
As a CF Widow, there are just some things that other widows don't understand and can't relate to... and if they do relate to it - it's in a different way. This part of the book is something that I wish I had when I was going through the last 3 months with my husband and as I continue to go through the grieving process for the rest of my life.  CF is no longer solely considered a children's disease - so many more CFers are living into adulthood, more are getting married. There are more CF Widows out there than I even know of. (I currently personally know of 6...) I want to connect with them and I want to be able to help them along their journey of loss as I continue to travel my own journey of loss.  Not once have I found a book with the sole focus being the life and words of a CF Widow. I want to make this book a reality.

I not only want to write this book to help others - but I want to write it for myself. I know that I will be very therapeutic for me to write about my CF journey. Writing helps me discover things that otherwise would be left undiscovered. It helps me come to many realizations. I learn more about myself when I write. 

I took a "break" from book writing for awhile as I put together the riddleofcf website. I then just needed a break in general with reliving all of my time with Spencer. At times, writing and remembering can be an exhausting thing to do, and so I'm glad that I gave myself the break. But I'm ready to write again! I want to do this! I've been thinking about this for a couple of weeks now. It's going to be a long process, especially since it's going to be an on-the-side thing that I'm doing, but I know in the end it's going to be completely worth it. 

And now to get to one of the main reasons that I wrote this blog in the first place. I kind of need a little help from people who will read this book. Some help just organizing my thoughts and getting an idea of what YOU would like to read about. So my question is:

When you pick up this book - What do you want to read about? 
Questions to get you thinking....
What would you expect to be in the book?
What kinds of things interest you about our story?
What inspires you about our story?
What brought your attention to our story? 
What made you continue to come back and read about us/me/Spencer?

Any help that you can give me is GREALY appreciated. I want to get started but I'm trying to figure out what direction I want to take this all in. So please, please leave me a comment or email me:

The more you say, the better it helps me! Thanks!!!!

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