New Look

I decided that it was well overdue for my blog to get a new look! We're getting closer to fall and so I wanted warm colors - this is the best I could find in my rush and excitement to change how my blog looks! I am getting sooo ready for fall to come - usually I don't like it because it means winter isn't far behind. But I am SOOO ready to escape this heat! I'm not a fan of summer because of the heat.I get overheated very easily and can't be outside much even though I want to. And I'm not a fan of winter because I get sick easily, Spencer gets really sick, and my joint pain kills! So I'm all for fall and spring! =)

Coming into the new semester has kind of been rough. I was really ready for school to start because I enjoy learning and I needed something to do with my time - but now that it's here I can honestly say that I wish I had a few more weeks of break left! It's hard to get back into the swing of things... Balancing school with every day life and trying to find a job. I'm not liking living so far away from campus. Gas is sooo expensive and I don't like the 45 minute to 1 hour commute Tuesday's and Thursday's to campus - I guess it could be worse, though - right?

I am taking 4 classes this semester and 3 out of the 4 are pretty blahhh. Spanish is going okay - it's hard though. I don't have a book yet (no one does lol) Because the book store was all out, and I can't do any assignments because I don't have the online component. So I'm falling behind rather quickly in this class - though I hope my book comes Monday so I can play some majjjor catch up before class on Tuesday! I've been trying to study as much as I can from the notes I've taken in class. Hopefully it pays off.

I'm not enjoy my Research Methods class - hah oh boy it's boring. The methods of research. I hope it gets better. This class is 2 hours long and so it seems to go. on. forever. He gets into these really long examples of what he's talking about - and sometimes gets SO off topic! You never know what to write in your notes and if you wrote every thing you wouldn't know what's important to study! Guess the first quiz will help me out on how to take notes in the class.

Economics is blah too. Oh course it involves math and that's NOT a strong point for me! I think I will get some useful skills out of the class - but it's going to be pretty challenging. I'm trying to get ahead so that I can study more and don't feel so overwhelmed.

And for my BioEthics - well I love it! The topics relate to Spencer and I's life right now SO much! We're starting off talking about the theories of ethics and that's a little dull but he's mixing in some interesting things about transplants etc. I'm VERY excited to get more in depth with this class!!!!

I have every intention of studying a little bit every night - and I even open my books up... but so far.. it's just an intention. I haven't gotten much done. Don't think this is exactly a great way to start off the semester but I hope I can get into the swing of things soon.

I don't have a computer (using my husbands) and so it kind of makes it harder to study, take notes etc because nothing on here is my personal stuff... idk I guess it's just another excuse ;-) XD

Things will fall back in place soon and I'll figure out how to balance everything... just have to pretend for now!!! =)

First day

You know, I will never get tired and any less excited about the first day that school starts! I've always loved the first day! Even though I complain about it and don't like some of the things that come along with it - I really do like school. I love learning - especially about things within my interest! It gets hard, it gets boring, and it's VERY time consuming but I'm so happy that I have the opportunity to be able to learn and i'm overly grateful that I'm getting the help to be able to attend school in the first place. I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for a few people and a few programs helping me out. So I'm really excited about tomorrow. I get to go to 2 classes on campus. I am taking 2 classes online. I'm really nervous about my Spanish class, but I think if I can keep up with it I will be okay! The only class that I'm REALLY looking forward to this semester is my bioethics class. We are talking about so many issues that I can personally relate to or I am VERY passionate about:

Genetic testing

Organ Transplantation and donation

stem cell research

Health Care

etc etc etc

The other classes are those dull, required ones that I just need to get out of the way. I think they will all be challenging and I am going to look at them in the most positive light as I can and try to take away as much as I can from them. I really want to be successful this semester and really hope I can keep up with everything!!! so here I am... excited for another school year - and not sleeping even though I have a HUGE day ahead of me tomorrow and need to get up a little early!!!

I have been struggling with a lot of things lately.... I am hoping that school will give me the distraction that I need. I've been looking at everything in such a negative way, and I am trying so hard to snap out of it. I talked to my doctor about some new meds and I think they will really help me. Depression is a hard thing to battle, especially when my husband is dealing with it too - so I hope now that I am taking the right meds I can be a little more positive about everything.

Things are just piling up - seems like once I think I'm getting one issue figured out - another one comes up within the next hour... And I'm not exaggerating this. It's been ROUGH. Feeling very overwhelmed with life in general.. then add spencers health, house work, school, studying, finding a job... whew!!! Lots on my plate.

I'm just asking for positive energy, thoughts and some prayers to be sent my way as I try to get into a new routine again. I'm having a rough time and I hope that things will start to fall in place!!!

More later =)

Wedding Sneak Peak 2!

We got some of our wedding pictures back!!! We had my sister-in-law take the good majority of the pictures (about 8,000!!!!) and we also had a friend offer to snap some shots for a different view and angle as a wedding gift. Of course we accepted the offer and I am SO glad that we did!!! It was really hard for my sister-in-law, Arielle, to get pictures during the ceremony due to the setup and how the pastor wanted things to go... and so she could really only get pics focused on me and not Spence... While Linda was on the other side, she was able to get pictures focused on Spencer. It worked out great!!! So here are a few of my favorites that Linda took!!!! =) (They are in reverse order... it was SO hard to choose just a few good ones... there are tons more!!!)

Walking out of the church after tying the knot!!! =)

The rings and what they stand for...

Spencer saying his vows to me.. I love the emotion in his face =)

Saying a prayer...

My parents right before giving me away <3

My wonderful, FANTASTIC bridesmaids and the flower girls

I am in LOVE with this shot of my grandma Johnson...

Don't worry - when we get all the pics back I will make an online album for you to view even more =) But for now... I'm going to tease you a little bit a few more times! ;-)

Another Blogger Challenge!

I've been slacking a little bit in the blogging world and it seems like a lot of my posts have been a little depressing. I really hate writing negative things all the time - and so I want to switch things around a little bit! I enjoy writing, but often times don't know exactly what to write about... so I've found an idea online and I'm turning it into a blogger challege - if you want to join me, GREAT! If not that's cool too. I think this could be pretty therapeutic to me so I'm going to try it out.

The challenge?

Thirty Letters

I am going to write 30 letters and post them publicly. I won't necessarily do this 30 days in a row, I want to be able to take my time and write them when I feel ready. Feel free to interpret these any way you want - it doesn't even have to be a physical person... it could be your pet, an illness, a specific day in time... anything. I am not going to say who these letters are to - that choice is up to you.... I hope you join me =)

The days?

Day 1- Your best friend/s

Day 2- Your love/girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/crush

Day 3- Your parents

Day 4- Your sibling/s

Day 5- Your dreams

Day 6- A stranger

Day 7 - Your ex boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8- Your favorite internet friend

Day 9- Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10-Someone you don't talk to as often as you'd like

Day 11- A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12- The person you hate the most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13- Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14- Someone you've drifted away from

Day 15- The person you miss the most

Day16- Someone that's not in your state/country

Day 17- Someone from your childhood

Day 18- The person you wish you could be

Day 19- Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad

Day 20- Someone that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21- Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22- Someone you want to give a second chance

Day 23 - The last person you kissed

Day 24- The person who gave you your favorite memory

Day 25- The person you know is going through the worse of times

Day 26- The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27- The friendliest person you knew for only a day

Day 28- Someone that changed your life

Day 29- The person that you want to tell everything to, but are too afraid

Day 30- Your reflection in the mirror

Moment of Happiness

Even among all this chaos that has been my last 24 hours with ER visit and admit (My husband) I was brought a moment of joy.

I always get the BEST feeling when someone thanks me for going out of my way and helping them out. For example, I think I've mentioned this in my last blog post, but I made my Crohn's support group a closed group and it's been the BEST thing that's happened to it! I get comments every single day of how thankful they are that I've taken so much time to make the group work. It just makes me feel so good to know I'm helping people. I cannot wait to see it grow!!!

The biggest thing that touched me today was a comment from a CF mom this morning.

She IMed me telling me how I have changed her and her daughter's life a bit. She reads my blogs and posts on facebook and she told me that I inspire her to be a better mom/caregiver for her daughter. She said I have taught her how to cope with things better and look at things in a positive way even though it sucks. She now looks at things differently for her daughter and their life. A direct quote from her, "I seriously love you! You're just am amazing person you're making me cry cause I just wish there is someone out there for [my daughter] that's like you......"

This makes my heart not only smile but just beam. What an honor. It is such an awesome and rewarding feeling when someone, let alone someone I barely know, tells me that I inspire them and change their life when really I wasn't even trying in the first place. I just write about my every day life in which is crazy but yet it has such an effect on some people. I don't think anything about my life is so extraordinary but I guess it's just how I choose to think about everything. Hearing comments like this reminds me the importance of ones actions and words on other people even though you may not know they are watching/reading.

I know I haven't written in here awhile. I've been debating on what to write about. I want to write a really happy and uplifting blog post, but I also kind of want to create a "real" one... what has actually been going through my mind the last month or so. I feel really happy right now as some things seem to be falling into place... but there are times when other thoughts just consume my mind. I am feeling pretty great tonight so I just want to keep it happy and optimistic for now!!! The "real" blog will fall into place later when i'm having a down day and need to vent a little bit... but for now HERE is what I'm thankful for that's been going on!!! =)

If you've been following facebook, my blog, or even by phone or email you'll know that we were in an accident in May. We got rear ended by a young driver going pretty fast not paying attention. Spencer and I were both okay - but the car, not so much. We were able to drive it for about a month while the insurance took their precious time trying to figure out if they were going to pay for the all the costs or not. Finally heard from them and they said they would cover all the costs. So I go to have it looked at and was told that everything could be repaired. It spent a week at the auto shop (was told it'd only take 4 days) And then I got a call back saying that my car was totaled and they weren't going to fix it, just give me a settlement and go on with their life.

Great. Not what I was wanting to hear at all - but all-in-all it worked out. After getting the money in the mail a couple weeks later, getting a loan from my parents, and being car-less for over a week; Spencer and I finally got a new car!!! Well a new used car that is. Couldn't afford too much - but we got one heck of a deal!!!

My precious friend Christine so graciously went out of her way and took the time to take me to go look at cars and test drive some twice. (Can't thank you enough!). Spencer went with us today and we decided to buy a 2005 Ford Taurus SE. It's a super nice car and it's in great condition. I really wanted to drive it home today but they were going to detail it, service it, and put a full set of new tires on it. It's at the *very* top of our price range.. (seriously I think it went under maybe a couple dollars!!!!) but I think it was worth every penny. I was told that it was a steal at the price we got it at. I'm just so grateful that I found something so good!

I 100% recommend Beutler Auto Sales in Clearfield, UT for a car!!! Ask for Jordan Beutler!! He was very patient and kind. He told me upfront anything I needed to know about the vehicle. All of the guys who work there are very friendly and nice and help you out as much as they can! They go to auctions, buy cars, and give you a heck of a good deal. =)

So I'm very excited to have a car!!! It's the newest year I've ever owned and I'm pleased. Get to pick it up tomorrow!

I am also feeling so very grateful for the group that I created, The Chronicles of Crohnies. It was brought up to me to make it a closed group, as Crohn's can be a very embarassing disease that you just don't want everyone to know the details about. Making the decision to make it a closed group was the best thing that ever happened to it. There is so much activity in the group and my fellow IBDers are so helpful and encouraging to everyone.

I always have wanted to make a difference in at least one persons life. If I could do that - then I would be happy... But I feel like this was taking things to a whole different level. I have had countless people express their thanks to me for taking the time out to create and maintain this group and making it closed so that people would feel more comfortable sharing their lives on it. We're up to 74 people and add about 10-15 new members every day. The page was up to 204 members so I hope we can continue to grow!!! I have some good thoughts of what to do with the group and I am so excited!!! I know it will just keep getting better!!!

I honestly never thought that a support group that I created would ever grow so much and be so helpful to so many people. So thankful for that and I feel so good about doing this! =) I'm really making a difference and it makes me want to take it further and further. I have thought about doing a website - but we'll see where that leads!!!

I am kind of bummed that summer is coming to an end. I really didn't get to enjoy much of it - but all good things have to come to an end. I didn't do much of anything and it was really nice to not be required to study or go to classes or work. This is my last summer off of school for the next couple of years!! Gotta get done with my schooling! So I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can.

Even though I am sad it's coming to an end - I'm excited to get back into the swing of things again. Not looking forward to studying - but I do look forward to somewhat of a routine. I'm ready to be done with school and taking this semester head on is just one step closer to graduation!!!!!! I'm taking some tough classes this semester - but the hardest semester I have is coming up this spring - YIKES! Better enjoy this one I guess! I have to take a Spanish class and I'm really nervous about it!!! Not good at foreign languages and so I'm worried I won't do well... Just have to stay on top of studying and I hope I will be okay!!!

I am trying to be optimistic about Spencer. He's been a month out of the hospital for lung infection. Unfortunately he was admitted for a blockage for awhile... but his lungs have been doing okay and for that we are SOOOO very grateful and happy!!!! =D I just wish everything else with his body would corporate. O.O He's been very nauseous the last few days and I'm afraid he's dehydrated as he's not drinking a lot. I hope it's nothing else and won't require a clinic visit or hospitalization. But so far so good with the lungs and I hope he can stay out another month =)

Well that's probably all for now! Hope things continue to be happy happy!