Saturday, August 11, 2012

Eight Months Ago Today....

Eight months ago today, at 3:29 pm, you took your last mortal gasp for air here on earth. At 3:30 pm on this very same day that seems so, so long ago, you took your very first overly deserving breath as a beautiful, clean, white, and healthy heavenly angel.

You drew air deep down into pristine lungs without fight or battle. Oxygen freely flowed through major airways, through smaller airways, and finally into those microscopic air-filled sacs that haven't been used in over 20 years.

Blood flowed, finally fully oxygenated, all around your body without any struggle. Through your arteries, to your heart, into your veins, and into those new, pink, and perfect lungs.

Countless scars from your battle wounds faded seamlessly into your new smooth, plump, and pink skin that once was tinged blue from lack of oxygen and circulation.

Aches and pains that you never realized were present slowly lifted away as your body began to feel lighter, fuller, healthier.

Abilities you once had were rediscovered to their full potential when you gained your angel wings. The abilities you used to enjoy doing so much are now effortless because of the body we wish we all had. The abilities such as being able to now Sing. Walk. Run. Swim. Hike. Bike. Laugh. Yell.

Coughing became a thing of the past for you eight months ago. Mucus no longer builds and clogs your lungs. It no longer inhibits digestion. It no longer suffocates and threatens to kill. There became no more infections. No more needles. No more hospitals.

No more pain.

No more suffering.

The day your sight was taken by a death that, really, just blinded us all... sight was given to a young man in need. A precious and rare gift that only someone as loving, kind, and special as you could give. One can only hope he is now not only seeing through your eyes... but that he is seeing with a new and unique perspective. That he has love, hope, joy, and peace in his life.

Eight months ago today, you became a perfect and flawless angel; and eight months ago today marked a new life for you, and a new life for me, too.

I miss you sweet Spencer with a pain that is truly indescribable. My heart aches living with the emptiness that was left when you earned those wings. But my heart is also overflowing with the lessons you taught me. The love that you showed me. The compassion that surrounded me. The legacy that you left with me. Your love is always around me. Surrounding me and comforting me in my time of need. Your promise of being with me during every free moment you have is steadfast. Thank you, my Pea, for showing me the beauty of life amidst living in a world of looming death.

I'll always love you and you are forever in my heart.

-Your SweetPea


  1. Wow, that was beautiful, eloquent, and perfectly written <3

  2. Beautiful Nikki. My heart aches for you.

  3. That was moving and heartfelt Nikki. Please accept my condolences on your loss and my best wishes for a bright future.

  4. So so beautifully written. You bought me to tears, not sad tears but tears of celebrating love, tears of appreciation and tears of hope. Just beautiful.