" It’s the inability to make even the simplest of decisions; to remember a thought even from just 30 seconds ago. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into a room unable to remember why I went in there. How many times I’ve opened my mouth to say something only to have absolutely no idea what it was I wanted to say. I’ve even walked away from my car in a parking lot while it was still running. Twice.
As if grief and loss wasn’t bad enough, “widow’s brain” leaves you feeling like you have almost no control over the pieces of your life that remain. I used to be so organized. So ready. So on top of everything. Now, we’re lucky if I remember to grab Shane’s lunch on our way out the door in the morning. And don’t think I haven’t had to go back for it once or twice, either.
And probably the worst thing about “widow’s brain” – it prevents you from being able to recall your memories. Even the one’s you want to remember. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve ended up in tears because I can’t remember what Chris used to call something, or what his reaction to a situation had been. There are so many details about our life together that I simply can not remember, no matter how hard I try. And that sucks. Losing your spouse is difficult enough; why take away the widow’s ability to recall facets of their life together as well? It’s almost like the things that made “us”, “us”, are gone now too.
When does enough actually get to be enough?"