I started writing last year on November first and only lasted about 3 days. I ended up with 1,043 words. Roughly 2 pages in a Word document. My subject matter was difficult. I couldn't stay focused. Writers block hit about as soon as I started. I did no planning and I had a heck of a time deciding how much I wanted to personalize it.
I was too picky. I couldn't make up my mind and I tried SO hard not to criticize and edit myself after each and every sentence. Most of what I wrote was not re-read after I typed it and it was the hardest thing I did! 9 times out of 10 when I write a paper, or even a blog, my rough draft ends up being near my final draft... but with a book that isn't possible.
I contemplated giving NaNoWriMo another shot this year, but I honestly don't have the time, dedication, or drive to put into it. I have a full time job that I've been putting in overtime with, and I'm trying my hardest to study up to pass my ASCP exam beginning of next year.
But I do miss writing. I miss the challenge and I miss expressing myself. In the past I have done blogger challenges by posting every day for a month and I've decided that I want to challenge myself to doing that again. My blogs may be short and sweet, or they may just contain a photo for the photo challenge I want to attempt (once again). But I need a jump start into blogging again and I felt like it was an opportune time to do so.
I've went back and read what I wrote last year for NaNoWriMo and I want to share a bit of it. When I read it I really wish I would have kept going and written more. I don't think what I jotted down was too terrible (certainly could probably be better) and I hope that maybe some day I can take it further. Writing a book is on my bucket list and whether I can publish it or not is beside the point. But I hope that someday I can revisit that point in my life and help other people go through what I went through and show them that while it was a difficult journey, one can heal. I know what I want the subject to be, I know what I want to share, I just don't know how to go about it and the format that I want the book to have.
Now I don't know if I want my book to be written this way... but when I started this one last year I decided that I wanted to share my life but do it in a way that it was like telling a story and writing a work of fiction. Most things are taken straight form my life, some are exaggerated... that's the freedom of writing :)
So here is a little excerpt of what I wrote... Judge kindly, but constructive criticism and comments are always nice :)
~~~~~
She gathered up her things and put them into her navy blue bag that had held those few necessary items for the last three months. A toothbrush, change of clothes, important documents, and maybe a book, if only she could focus enough to read it. Making the decision of which shirt to pack was harder than normal and brought her to tears. Realizing that she would likely not change into it anyway, she just threw one in without a second thought. She sat down on the bed in their bedroom of only 9 short months and heaved a heavy sigh knowing they would never sleep beside each other in that queen sized bed again. They would never have the chance to hang up their sign they just bought reading, “I love you more!”. They would never again playfully argue over whose turn it was to switch his oxygen tubing from his nasal cannula to his bipap machine. Memories raced through Sophie’s mind as she stared at those 4 pale yellow walls. She was numb and still could not fathom what was about to happen.
She kissed Brad’s little chihuahua and set out his food before she left. Her heart shattered in that moment as there is nothing like the bond between a man and his dog. After 3 months of being separated, with a few short visits in between, there is no doubt that he knew something was going on, but the poor dog could never be prepared with what was to come.
As Sophie went from room to room recalling memories that they shared in each, she started getting anxious and realized it was past time to get back to him. She didn’t get a whole lot of time to herself these days, but it’s not that she wanted it, either. Time to herself was filled with panic and all the what-if questions. What if something would happen if she were gone? What if he needed her? It was best if she just stayed near.
Grabbing her things, she left their home with sweet memories but a broken and bitter heart. She started out on her one hour drive that she knew would be the last. Her stomach was in knots, her heart palpated, and tears threatened to escape her tender green eyes. She wanted to get back to him, but knew that with each moment that went by, it was one moment closer to when she would get hold his hand and kiss his lips for the very last time.
~~~
The story and relationship of Sophia E. Baker and Bradley L. Martin was considered a lifetime movie to most and even a fairy tale to some. Sophie and Brad could hardly agree. They saw their relationship no different than anyone elses, and that is what made it so extraordinary. It may have been full of dumb luck and quirky flaws, just like the next couples, but unique to their blossoming relationship were trials unimaginable to most.
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