BUT after getting on the computer and reading Ronnies Thankful Thursday blog - thought that reflecting upon some of the positive things going on right now would be best to at least try and lift my mood a little bit.
Thoughts may be hard to come by - but I am determined to find FIVE positive things that I'm thankful for!
1. The wonderful Respiratory Therapists taking care of Spencer. Some of them only seem here for the money... but there are a select few that are really invested in the patient and care. I feel so thankful that there are those few that go the extra measure to make sure that Spencer meets his goals while in here.
Here are the differences between the ones that care, and the ones that do the bare minimum:
** When he is sating at around 96% at X amount of oxygen (meaning he is able to try to go down a half a liter to a liter) the good RTs will understand that Spence is trying to get OFF of oxygen and so they will put him down, and then 1/2 an hour later come back and check his sats again to make sure he's doing okay. The other RT's.... unless Spencer specifically asks to be turned down, they just leave it and walk out - If he asks to be turned down a little bit, they will turn him down and won't return to check his sats. Kind of frustrating as we have to ask other staff to check them.
** The good RTs will make sure Spencer has a PEP and they make sure he USES it. After every treatment they will make sure he does at least a set of 10 and then huff coughs after to help loosen up mucus.. then they will check his sats after he does PEP as well as listen to his lungs yet again to see if he made a bit of progress. The other RTs? They don't offer the PEP to him - and if he starts to do it, they will just leave in the middle and half the time they don't chart that he's doing it... =/
** We don't always expect the RTs to stay in the room the whole time while he is doing his treatment and be talkative - but it's nice if they do. Spence recently had an RT who gave him his neb and vest, and then left the room entirely. Spence got down with his albuterol and figured that he'd be back after his vest - nope - we never saw the RT again; so we were responsible for putting the vest up, tubing and neb up as well.. That's not our job - That made me angry. The RTs who really care will stay in the room the whole time to make sure his treatment is done PROPERLY and FULLY. As is their JOB!
----- Now why am I thankful for Spencer's RTs? Because they are invested not only in the short term... but in his long term health and future. If it weren't for them, Spencer's PFTs won't come up, he won't get discharged as early, and he would be in the hospital more frequently... really, the RT is one of the most important parts of a CFers stay....-----
2. I am thankful that this semester is OVER and my major is CHANGED!! This semester was so difficult for me and nursing is honestly, really hard and time consuming. Not only do you have to get superior grades in all the pre recs... but you have to volunteer, get a CNA job... experience, letters of recommendation.. etc etc etc... You have to wrap your life around it, and right now I don't have that kind of time and commitment. I was getting WAY stressed about it. I changed my major to Human Development and Family Studies... or something like that - and I am already feeling SO much better about it. My new goal is to become a Child Life Specialist. We'll see if nursing fits into the picture later. but looking at everything as a whole (all the classes, a job.. etc) I think this fits into what I really really want to do, and I am EXCITED for it!
3. I get to go home for Christmas. Yes, this is a touchy subject as I am not yet sure if Spence can come... but if I look at it selfishly - I will get to travel home. I get to see my family soon and I am overly ready. I miss them so much. Moving away from home 2 states away was one of the hardest decisions I made because I am so very close to my family. So I am so thankful that I have the opportunity, money, time, and transportation to be able to spend a couple weeks at home =)
4. Feeling better. Though I am not up to par, and i am still feeling kind of junky.. Overall I am feeling 80% better than I did a week ago. My ear is starting to drain so I am able to hear a little bit better, my throat isn't hurting as much, I am getting back my energy little by little. I am SO thankful that I didn't have to go to a doctor. With no insurance and little money - I couldn't afford that. And I think I was lucky enough to avoid it.
5. Even though I'm a little upset with the current doctor who is over seeing Spencer, I am thankful that Spence has a FANTASTIC CF doctor (a different one than the one who is looking over him right now) She has a GREAT bedside manner, she is very sympathetic and empathetic, she truly cares, she listens and tries to help you out in whatever way she can, her goal is so that you can have as 'normal' of a life as possible. She is just an amazing person and makes a great doctor.
There's my list =) It's ALWAYS good to reflect upon the positive things in our lives sometimes. It is SOOO easy to get consumed in everything that goes wrong, and all the negative things that happen.... You can't live life fully if your always absorbed in the negative. I'm glad I spent the 30 minutes to remind myself the joys in my life --- I hope YOU do the same!!! =)