Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Defeat comes with new beginnings =)
Ahhh I am so happy today =)
I am FINALLY done with fall semester!!! Ugh let me tell you - this semester was just brutal. I had to withdraw from a class, I opted no credit for intro to Chem, and i struggled my butt off through physiology. I had a lot of health issues and I ended the last 2 weeks of the semester being very sick with the flu (in which I'm still trying to get over).. but it's over and I'm on to better things =)
I decided that it was within my best interest to change my major -- that is a topic for another blog (I have a ton of blog ideas running through my head! Just have to make the time and effort to sit down and write!) I originally had a minor in Human Development and Family Studies in addition to my major of Nursing - but decided to turn the minor into my major to be a Child Life Specialist and see where Nursing comes into play in the future... Again - more about that later.
And now for an update on the fiance..... Spencer is improving - and he's improving quite quickly!!!!! It seemed to just hit him so suddenly.. He was so sick when he came in and he wasn't improving as quickly as usual, I was getting nervous.. But maybe this fast and sudden turn around was prayers being answered perhaps? =) Whatever it was I'm really liking it!
Last night I went to bed feeling a little defeated and let down... Defeated from CF because I felt like it was taking over our much looked forward to plans.. We have been planning this trip ever since fall break. We were going to go to Kansas so that we could spend Christmas with my family this year.. And mainly he was coming so that we could plan nearly every detail of our wedding with my family and getting some help along the way.. Not only that but talking to several people and setting up photographer, florist... etc - I was getting so nervous that this wall all suddenly not going to happen - and I honestly didn't know how to deal with it. I am already sacrificing seeing Temple Square lights yet again this year so that there wouldn't be a chance of Spence catching a bug from all the people so that we could go to KS - but now I have to change all my plans cuz CF had to get in the way yet again? I mean I am finally okay with not seeing the lights - I can live... It's MUCH more important to me that Spence come with me for Christmas! Sometimes we have to evaluate what is most important in our lives and just go from there... this was just a simple reminder of that fact...
BUT... my defeat was turned around this morning when I awoke, and Spencer was off the mask of 50% oxygen, and on a nasal canula at 6 liters :-D That was enough to start my day off GREAT! Any progress is GOOD. He seemed really chipper today from the very beginning, and that was also an excellent sign - increased energy.. w00t!
Then during his first afternoon treatment he was sating 96% on 6 liters so the RT turned him down to 5 liters - w00t! I am so thankful to have good RTs like this one, we'll call him J ;-) He really cares. He's not just here for the money. He is genuinely invested in the patient and that is a rare thing. He is determined to help Spencer get weened down on the oxygen and get in good shape to be discharged on Monday. Thank you, J, for all that you do. We REALLY appreciate you!
So off Spence went to exercise and rehab went well for him, and then came his second afternoon treatment.. sating about the same so J the fabulous RT turned him down to 4 liters! uhmm YA!!!!! After his treatment, PEP (J makes SURE he does PEP after every treatment, at least 10 times!), and huff coughing he was sating 94% on 4 liters... Oh gosh that is just FANTASTIC!! Mind you that that is at rest.. when he moves around I think he needs a little more - but he's been heading in the EXACT direction that we want - weaning off O2 quickly, more energy, and he's just full of life today - SO great to see after such a defeating day previously =)
Goal is 3 liters of O2, feeling back to his 'normal' (I am really using this term loosely, as what IS normal anyway?!), and much improved PFTs and energy... His admission PFTs were really low for him... so we need to get them back in the mid to high 30's for him to be discharged!!! GO go go!!!!!
If all of this happens and he continues to improve then we should be SET TO DISCHARGE MONDAY AND GO TO KANSAS FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! I am SOOO excited! I honestly and truely believe that he can do this and be out of here.
THANK YOU for your prayers, good thoughts and support. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I couldn't ask for more =)
And a little note to Spencer - I am so PROUD of you. Proud of how far you have come. I know you have had many setbacks - way more than triumphs lately - but you have honestly exceeded my expectations on how hard you have been working and how much effort you are investing in your health and our relationship. I can see the determination shine through - and I know you see yourself making the progress and I can see how happy you are. It's okay to have down and off days - but just don't let them consume you. You are fighting and giving this your all - I see it, the doctors see it, even the RTs are noticing a difference. You can do this and you have so many people cheering you on and supporting you. See that and use it as motivation to fight. You may have Cystic Fibrosis, but Cystic Fibrosis does NOT have you! You make me proud to call you my fiance, friend, supporter, and fighter. I love you and thank you for your investment in our future. xoxo