Well, only 3 days after ordering, I received my photobook in the mail and it is BEAUTIFUL! It turned out so much better than I even imagined it to. I am so in love with it, the memories, and the beautiful pictures of our love.
This was a very long and difficult process for me. I started working on it 3 months after we tied the knot, shortly after Spencer was admitted into the ICU. So back in September of 2011. I started piecing it together, picture by picture, during my free time when Spencer slept. As his health declined it became harder for me to go through our wedding pictures. I built up a lot of anger at our situation. It was unfair that we only got 3 months together before he got so sick, and during those three months we suffered so much grief and dispair with devastating news of his dad passing and his mother being diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer.
But I was determined to finish it. I wanted Spencer's opinions and I wanted his approval of what I had put together. Mostly I just wanted to share with him the memories. To be able to look at something neatly put together and reminisce of our love on that day. I wanted so badly to finish it before anything happened to Spencer.
Being his caretaker and wife became top priority as his body continued to fail. I had less and less time to work on it, and even more-so, I just didn't have the energy to put into finishing it. Spencer wasn't up to giving me his opinions and it frustrated me. Our communication was fading with time and it wasn't worth it to fight over how a page looked in our photobook when we could be having a meaningful conversation instead.
After Spencer passed away I stopped working on it altogether. My focus was on different things like the website, writing, and helping out other people who needed it. There were also times that it became impossible to look at our wedding pictures and there was no way that I was able to piece everything together.
I started working on it again a few times when I found discounts online. There was actually one time that I sat down one day and completed it. I had plans to order it the next morning, but come to find out the program had crashed and didn't save any of my work on it. I was livid and in tears because I worked so hard putting it together.
But this time, I finally completed it! I started from square one and worked on it all day long for 2 days straight. There were times that looking through the pictures was difficult, and I even shed a few tears as I was remembering things such as our first dance. But it was all worth it because now I have something that I cherish.
I wanted to share and so I have embedded the photobook below if you're interested in looking through it. It looks so much better printed! Enjoy!