Decade Reflections

Tonight ends another year. Another decade. And until I really thought about it within the last hour I didn't realize how much this last decade has impacted me.

It completely shaped me.

I had so many experiences, both large and small, that taught me tough lessons and helped me discover who I am and what my place is in this world. It began and carried me through my young adulthood.

In short?

I graduated high school
    Moved to Utah to start college
          I got married
               I quickly became a young widow
                    I lost and grieved a lot of people in a 6 month span
                         Started my career in the laboratory
                              Lost a couple of amazing women and friends
                                   Returned to college
                                        Graduated college with a 4.0
                                             Got married
                                                  Started my career as an MLT
                                                       Promoted to manager
                                                            Experienced infertility

Between and among all of those big moments, between the delicate balance of grieving and living, I continued to live and learn so many life lessons. I spent a lot of time in the beginning of the decade promoting an organization for sick teens and I spoke at a couple of celebrity galas with my dear friends. So many precious moments shared with the teens I mentored and the friends I shared the gala experiences with.

I met some absolutely incredible people, a couple I have lost, a few who are no longer in my life, but all who completely changed my life and will be in my heart forever. I had a couple of failed relationships and heartbreaks and I made a lot of mistakes, some worse than others.

I did a ton of traveling.... always promising myself that I'll return again some day. Some places I've been back to, others I have yet to return. I traveled to Utah, California, Colorado, New York, and Nevada and I definitely left a little piece of my heart in each place I've been. There is something that happens to a person when you travel. Your attitude and outlook on life changes. You come back a different person than the person who left. Many of the personal discoveries I made came from the places that I've explored and the people I've explored them with.

I had a lot of heartbreak this decade but I also had so many amazing things happen to me. I wish I could write out every story and lesson and moment that each of those milestones brought to me but it is a story that never ends. I continue to learn and take different things away from each as I go through various moments in my current life.

I can't pretend that I know what this upcoming year [this upcoming decade] will bring, do we ever? But I have lots of wishes and hopes. Right now I see a heck of a lot of obstacles in the way to get to where I want to be but when I think about it, when has my life allowed me anything worth living for without a few, or many, challenges along the way?! I guess it just makes the journey that much sweeter.

I'm not going to make any resolutions as I never stick to them anyway. I know what I want to work on and hopefully I will find the will and motivation to accomplish them. All in all I just hope that 2020 is kind to me. I hope it comes with less challenges, less heartbreak, and more moments worth living for.