Angry Intestines

Coming into the knew year I wasn't feeling the best and so I knew it would start out with quickly figuring out how to get my intestinal health on the right track. I just didn't know it'd come so fast.

I don't write about my personal health issues very much on my blog. Largely because I have been very fortunate to not have any symptoms, and some because when things get bad I use Facebook and CaringBridge to share with friends and family to avoid having to repeat myself time and time again.

When I was 11 years old, in 2001, I was diagnosed with a form of inflammatory bowel disease called Crohn's Disease. After much debate and slight uncertainty my diagnosis was changed from Crohn's to Ulcerative Colitis (UC) limited to my lower colon. As I said, I've been very fortunate with how my health has played out (although when I'm sick I don't feel fortunate!). I've only had 3 *major* flare-ups in my 17 years of living with this disease.

Side note: I CANNOT believe I have had this for 17 years!

The last flare I had was in 2013 and it was very severe. I scared myself with how ill I got, how much weight I lost, and how quickly things progressed. I participated in a clinical trial and when that failed and I pulled out of it early it was recommended that I consult with a surgeon to remove my colon. Obviously this is not something I EVER want to have to face and it was terrifying for me. Luckily I consulted and got a second opinion from another specialist who was willing to try a couple of minor treatments to see if it helped me get over the hump to avoid surgery. I'm happy to say it worked and for the last 4 years overall I have been pretty healthy.

I tend to get "seasonal" flareups when the seasons change from fall to winter; many of us do. I feel rough for a month or two and my symptoms develop and increase, but then once winter gets into full force the symptoms die down and I feel myself again. However this time things aren't going as expected. I started feeling rough again late October and thought it'd all get better early to mid December. But my symptoms are just increasing and this last week I've felt exceptionally rough.

After a really rough day, I made an appointment with our local general surgeon to get a colonoscopy done as soon as possible. See, I'm supposed to be getting scopes done every 1 to 2 years to make sure my intestinal tissue is healthy and I am not developing polyps or any other nasty thing. Due to insurance, money, and time I haven't been scoped since 2013 sooo I am long overdue.

My appointment with him went very well and he agreed that the best step to take is to look and see what is going on in my colon. We suspect increased inflammation and a consult with my GI specialist to get back on a treatment plan with some new medications.

But as always, I always get reminded of the reality of living with a chronic disease like UC. After 8-10 years of having IBD the risk of colon cancer increases significantly. With patients, like me, who specifically have ulcerative colitis, that risk is even greater because the disease activity is limited to the colon, whereas Crohn's disease patients can have inflammation anywhere in the GI tract. Each year after year 10, the risk, as you might assume, continues to increase. I am nearly 20 years out and I was gently reminded that I am in a very high risk category to develop colon cancer.

No, this doesn't mean that I WILL get cancer (and I have to keep reminding myself this), and my doctor told me that only once has he diagnosed a patient under the age of 35 with colon cancer (who also has IBD <15 years), but that the yearly screens are critical to me decreasing my risk and catching a dysplasia early to prevent it progressing into cancer. With that being said, I'd lie if I said I wasn't concerned or nervous to what he'll find in a couple of weeks. I haven't been scoped in several years, so it's a little concerning. I have had a history of a lot pseudo-polyps suggesting that I've had a significant amount of inflammation and healing. Thankfully I don't think I've ever actually had a polyp, so I'm trying to stay optimistic that he won't find any this time, either.

I scheduled my scope for the 23rd and will follow up with my GI in Colorado following it. He said that he will be taking extensive biopsies throughout my colon to check for any abnormalities as a preventative measure. This assures me he has my best interests in mind and I'm so glad he is real with me and lays out all my risks and options going forth.

While I'm a little nervous for all of this, as I always am, I'm also ready to get the ball rolling and finally get back on track with regular screenings and maintenance of my disease. This was a goal of mine in 2018, so the earlier I can get it done, the more I can get accomplished this year! Update to follow when I finally learn what's going on inside of these angry intestines :)

Just Keep Working Out

This week has reminded me why it's so important to quit stopping and starting workout routines! I think back to where I was a year ago.... even just 6 months ago! I started going to the gym in North Platte and got into a good routine of consistently doing SOMETHING to keep me active. After moving back home it was harder to stick with it, but my husband and I usually would try to take a walk in the evenings together... we even got into a stint that we'd go running (it didn't last but more than a couple of months).

But then our wedding came and went and I started working full time. I didn't have anything specific to work towards (like fitting in my wedding dress!) and it was exhausting trying to get into the work routine. I'd wake up at 5am, spend an hour driving to work, 10.5 hours at work, and then an hour driving home to get home at 6:30 or 7pm. All motivation to exercise after that is gone... and it hasn't gotten better, especially now since I also take call. 

I'm slowly trying to get back into that routine. Right now it's as simple as hitting 10,000 steps each day this month. Because that's how not active I've been. At work that's been pretty easy. My lowest was 10,006 and my highest was 13,295. Overall, I'm proud of not only my activity level but my eating habits as well.... But this weekend has been a completely different story.

After a long week of being on my feet and, basically just working and sleeping, I want nothing more than to sit on the couch and watch Netflix, crochet, or read. It takes a lot of conscience effort to get up and move, and even when I do it doesn't amount to very many steps! It's quite cold outside so it's pretty hard to will myself out the door when I don't have to. Today I feel like I'm going to be lucky to get over 6K steps in which I'm not too proud of, but I'll have to get creative tomorrow to get myself moving more! 

I did get on the elliptical for 15 minutes early this afternoon so that I didn't feel like I was being a complete couch potato. That's when I was REALLY reminded that I should never completely stop working out and being active. It is horrible trying to get back into a routine. It was embarrassing how difficult it was to sweat out those 15 minutes. Yikes! 

I am still a part of Beach Body and so I downloaded the On Demand app onto my phone and would like to pick a workout to do each day, especially if I can't get my 10k step in. Maybe after I get this exercise thing figured out again I can try to do the 21 day fix. 

I did that last February and it is the first thing that I've done that has actually WORKED. I wasn't super compliant about it, but I did eat significantly better, I didn't starve myself of food, and I was working out each day. I felt really good about myself after doing that, and I'm so sad that I stopped. 

I have to keep reminding myself that it takes time. If I jump into it full force and too fast (like I always do) I get so frustrated with myself and I never see it to completion. This time I want it to be different. This time I want to go all the way and by the end of the year look back at all I've accomplished with my fitness and health goals and be proud! 

In 2018...

I can't say that I'm a huge fan of New Years resolutions. I don't think I've ever kept one that I've made. They are full of good intensions but are incredibly hard to keep. January 1st doesn't magically fix all the bad habits created over years and years time. I've learned that it's okay so set goals and resolutions, but it's a process and it takes time to get to where you want to be. Even when a day or even a week doesn't go as planned, it's not reason to give up. I've got a whole year to make the change - I think that's key to helping me stick with it.

I've been thinking of things I would like to improve upon this year and while I've come up with A LOT of things I want to change, I limited myself and decided to break them down in my monthly calendar with small manageable steps each month.

By the end of 2018 here is where I'd like to be!

Health

• Be fitter, stronger, and leaner and feel good about my body
• Getting my disease in check and seeing the necessary doctors to make sure I'm healthy from head to toe

Financial

• Set back (at least) $100 each month
• Continue adding to retirement fund

Travel

• Two vacations with my husband; one being a week-long and one over a long weekend
• Make a short trip to Utah

Relationship

• Being more open with my husband
• Going on at least one date a month together

Personal

• Less screen time and more time enjoying life through my own eyes
• Spend more time cooking, painting, crocheting, reading, being active etc

I think that the most challenging thing for me is going to be finding the motivation for my health goals and, believe it or not, the easiest will be my financial goals. I struggle with the rest of these and it will take a conscious effort each and every day to follow through. I hope that by breaking them down and keeping them where I see them every day it will help me be mindful of them all the time!